Saturday, January 3, 2009

The following post is actually a comment I left on a fellow WL (Colette) blogger's site, after she reminded me "Ok you have had your fun. Time to get back on the wagon..."

"Hey Colette, you just can't forget about me can you *smile*. Your opening comment made me laugh, but also be a bit accountable. Why is this SUCH a struggle??? Of course I've been thinking about getting back on the wagon, and I know I so need to in all aspects of it, but I am just purposely not doing it. Almost the opposite...filling my face till it hurts and eating crap when I don't even feel like it.It's affecting all aspects of my life, I am grumpier, no energy, less patient with my family and very low self esteem. I KNOW what I need to do, how to do it etc. but am I doing it? noooooooo. Why? don't know.I am still lighter this year than what I started the year at last year (249.8 last year and about 240 this year.) Yes you read that right; back up to 240. the lowest # I saw this past year was 218. Can you believe that? I let myself gain a solid 20lbs after losing it. If I had gone in the other direction...i'd be where you are sitting... under 200... uhhhhggg.What's a girl to do?"

It's funny I asked "What's a girl to do?" as I know dang well what I need to do... but I can't find the motivation to DO IT. I feel like it's such a cycle, either your on the up swing, or the down swing... and right now I am so on the down swing, and have been since this past July. I don't know if i'm down about everything right now because i'm not doing what I should; or if i'm not doing what I should BECAUSE I am down about everything else (just in a rut with being a SAHM, dealing with 2 toddlers, the mundane house work etc).

and also I hate 'starting up' this time of year because it feels so typical, and everybody's doing it... I don't like following the crowds.


Candace MacPherson said...

Well...I think the problem with New Years resolutions is that, because they are NY resolutions that people think it's OK to quit them. Also, we tend to examine the negatives of our last year and past failures. Don't do that.
First, the best time to start to get healthy is now - whenever that is.
Second, focus on the good things you did for the past year and build on them.
Third, decide where you want to be in 90 days and then decide what you need to do for the next 30 days to facilitate getting there. You can do anything for 30 days and it will allow you to plan the NEXT 30 days right before Valentines day.

Good luck, Can

Colette said...

Lara DON'T be a follower... BE A LEADER!! Set the example for your husband, your beautiful kids and your friends. Don't you think your worth it?
I have a question for you...
Do you love food more than you love yourself? Seriously think about that before you answer it!!!
I read that comment somewhere's before and it was like a lightbulb came on for me.
Yes, I will admit I LOVE food but I love myself WAY more!! I deserve to be healthy, happy and feel my best. Know what? And so do my Kids!! They deserve the best mom I can give them!!
Oh trust me there are days I'd wish I could drop out of sight to never be heard from, but deep down inside I want to see my kids graduate, get married and hold my first grand baby after its born!
Lara, What do you want??? Do you love food more than you love yourself???
Ps: I <3 you!!

MJ said...

Just remind yourself - as I am doing because I feel the same way you do - I hate doing it "because everyone does it now" -- but I'm so beyond frustrated that I'm doing it now - because I don't want to waste another day. I started little - eating an extra fruit, cutting out the cookies, I'm building back into my healthy lifestyle slowly -- it's not a new year's resolution -- it's reclaiming my life!
There's a great quote on my calendar that will inspire me for the next month or so:
"Each day is a new day. It doesn't matter how hard you worked yesterday or how hard you didn't work yesterday; you have to pick it back up and keep going." -Matt Hoover