The following post is actually a comment I left on a fellow WL (Colette) blogger's site, after she reminded me "Ok you have had your fun. Time to get back on the wagon..."
"Hey Colette, you just can't forget about me can you *smile*. Your opening comment made me laugh, but also be a bit accountable. Why is this SUCH a struggle??? Of course I've been thinking about getting back on the wagon, and I know I so need to in all aspects of it, but I am just purposely not doing it. Almost the opposite...filling my face till it hurts and eating crap when I don't even feel like it.It's affecting all aspects of my life, I am grumpier, no energy, less patient with my family and very low self esteem. I KNOW what I need to do, how to do it etc. but am I doing it? noooooooo. Why? don't know.I am still lighter this year than what I started the year at last year (249.8 last year and about 240 this year.) Yes you read that right; back up to 240. the lowest # I saw this past year was 218. Can you believe that? I let myself gain a solid 20lbs after losing it. If I had gone in the other direction...i'd be where you are sitting... under 200... uhhhhggg.What's a girl to do?"
It's funny I asked "What's a girl to do?" as I know dang well what I need to do... but I can't find the motivation to DO IT. I feel like it's such a cycle, either your on the up swing, or the down swing... and right now I am so on the down swing, and have been since this past July. I don't know if i'm down about everything right now because i'm not doing what I should; or if i'm not doing what I should BECAUSE I am down about everything else (just in a rut with being a SAHM, dealing with 2 toddlers, the mundane house work etc).
and also I hate 'starting up' this time of year because it feels so typical, and everybody's doing it... I don't like following the crowds.